This was the month of catching up on regular wellness appointments. Getting general health check-ups, my first mammogram, dental appointments, and all the boring things. Not fun self-care, but necessary self-care.
Note: This post is part of the Year of 40 series, where I embarked on a year-long challenge to explore a new hobby each month. The first post which explains the premise and reasons behind the Year of 40 challenge can be found here.
At my health checkup, I weighed more than I had expected, and the doctor talked to me about my BMI being over the cutoff for normal. I know that BMI can be a BS measure, but I also had definitely felt more sluggish and bigger than I liked. My cholesterol also came in on the mildly high range, which I know is due partially to genetics, but I still wanted to make appropriate lifestyle changes. I also had a discussion with my doctor to figure out whether I needed iron supplementation, given my borderline low levels and history of slight anemia.
I committed to paying more attention to what I was eating, actually tracking my food using my food scale. I learned about tracking macros and got a macros calculation of 126 g protein, 56 g fat, and 168 g carbs, for a total of 1681 Calories, which I thought sounded high. I estimated that my caloric intake had been somewhere in the 1800 Cals range and tried to bring it down.
From my journal at that time: “I can do this. What is my why? Being the best, fittest, leanest version of myself. When I am that version of myself, I feel more capable, more confident, and more motivated. I feel more alive and like “myself.” Right now, I just feel tired, mildly depressed, lethargic and super unmotivated to do anything. I feel like I just exist to watch my kids and to facilitate their schedule, which is pretty much true at least for this week. I feel like I never get time alone, even though that’s not actually true. Is my lack of fitness the root of all this? Probably not, but a rising tide lifts all boats, as the saying goes. If I can channel energy into one thing, maybe everything will lift together.”
In hindsight, I can see that this temporary “diet” phase was how I came to my current mindset of approaching food. Not every meal has to be delicious, but you also can’t live in deprivation denying yourself your favorite foods. Being able to see food through a lens of providing nutrients and satiety, as well as being able to satisfy cravings and enjoy different flavors was a critical step for me.