I set a goal to read 23 non-fiction books in 2023, which I actually hit! It encouraged me to read more non-fiction, and I even found myself frequently reaching for my non-fiction book over my fiction read, which is definitely new! I learned so much this year, and it’s interesting to see what topics captured my attention. In hindsight, I can see that I was connecting with memoirs along the thematic arc of longevity, mid-life, and motherhood, especially of older kids.
- Outlive by Peter Attia.
Longevity is having a moment for sure, and this is one of the rare books that I think deserves all the hype that it has received. I tore through this book, reading and listening to it on audio, and it has changed my outlook and approach to health and fitness. I think about my 80-year-old self and how I want her life to look and feel. I eat more protein, I value zone 2 cardio, and I train for mobility and muscular power. The author argues convincingly that instead of focusing on lifespan, we should be focusing on preserving a high quality of life for as long as possible. The biggest practical takeaway is that the one best thing you can do for your future self is exercise; specifically, do 3 hours per week of zone 2 cardio as well as VO2 max workouts (i.e. max pace 3-8 min intervals repeated 4-6 times). The book covers so much more, including emotional health, but I will stop here. Few books have truly changed my life and habits, and this is one of them. - I Miss You When I Blink by Mary Laura Philpott
This was my actual favorite read of the whole year. It is not new, but it was new to me after I read Bomb Shelter by the same author. I loved the format of this memoir, where each chapter exists as its own vignette, not quite sequential, but together they weave this beautiful complicated portrait of motherhood, identity, rage, vulnerability, and the hilarity and helplessness of it all. It was so funny and candid and made me feel understood and not alone. Honestly, it’s the memoir I wish I could write.
A similar read, which I would also recommend: It. Goes. So. Fast. By Mary Louise Kelly. This one reads more wistful and nostalgic, but also includes more working-mom angle. - Untangled by Lisa Damour
I don’t have a teenage girl yet, but this calm, practical advice helped me think about how to approach situations and conversations with my 10-year-old daughter as she gets older. The swimming pool metaphor lives in my head now, as I picture myself as a wall, strong enough to withstand my kids kicking off and returning only to kick off again, without taking it personally. I appreciated the specific examples from the author’s practice and how she addressed current issues of cell phone use and social media, dating, alcohol and other real topics. Next up is Emotional Lives of Teenagers by the same author.
Another good read, aimed at parenting younger kids: Good Inside by Becky Kennedy. This is more relevant to my current stage of parenthood, and I have struggled more with these concepts, especially the importance of heal thyself. One thing that has helped me is understanding the importance of repair after overreacting and yelling at your kid. - The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
It’s an odd, non-sequential collection of zen-like snippets on creativity. I like it for its permission-giving and encouragement that anyone can be creative because we are all inherently creative. It can feel trite when read continuously from beginning-to-end, but when absorbed in small bits, each chapter takes on a meditative, transcendent quality. I want to go back and earmark reminders for myself when I’m feeling flat and in need of thoughtful inspiration. - You Could Make this Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith
Poetry about a marriage falling apart, discovery of infidelity and the aftermath. Definitely not a subject matter I thought I would enjoy, but this particular telling was too beautiful to put down. In fact, I could not tear my eyes or heart away and read the whole thing in one afternoon. I had not heard of Maggie Smith before this book, but apparently one of her poems, Good Bones, went viral, the impact of which also altered the course of her marriage.
Runners-up: I also read several other books around the themes of mid-life happiness and finding your purpose: The Second Mountain by David Brooks, From Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks, and The Good Life by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz. I loved the themes of service and mentorship, of being called to your purpose and building community, but I found some of the writing style to be dry and difficult to finish. My daughter heard a short excerpt of one of these books on audio and found it so depressing that I was listening to books about “the inevitable decline”. Haha!